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Kindly read Derrick's' story keenly as it appears his case is unique.
Please read on...
"Four years ago when Nkechi and I were to get married, my family and friends had very mixed, turpsy-turvic feeling about us.
"Four years ago when Nkechi and I were to get married, my family and friends had very mixed, turpsy-turvic feeling about us.
They supported me not US. Since it was my call, they all pretended to be happy for me. My wife as at then was 39 while I was 30. She was my new boss at the office and we got along really quick. I was cock sure it was love. Although she sounded like she needed to get married as soon as possible but I didn't see any problem with that. Its only normal. Nkechi possesses the beauty of a decorated queen and her maturity caught me. Let me not bore you.
Right now, my wife looks like a deserted queen. She is 44 and I am now 35. We have found it difficult to conceive, and to worsen it, I decided to leave the job as the company policy does not allow couples and as she is already a boss, I decided to look elsewhere using her contacts. So far, all the appointments I have got has been temporary and this time, I have been out of job for the longest time. I am very frustrated.
Now, my wife has suddenly become distant or am I the one staying away?She tries to mother me rudely as if I were a kid.
I really cant tell what the problem really is, I don't have cash, she is not releasing cash under the guise that all the money is being spent on her health, we don't have any child, everyone is crossed with me and us, my parents want me to take another wife, infact a virgin, my wife now looks very unattractive, she is just like my aunty, old and now insultive. Gosh, i was so blind. Please tell me, can i ever get out of this? Truly I need fresh breathe. I am considering telling her to walk out of my life but the Nkechi I know is not a push over, especially with court marriage in place. Please advice me. I will be reading everyday. Thank you"
You have read it, kindly be as candid as you can ever be.
Is it okay for a man to marry a woman older than him?
What extent of influence should family and friends have one's' choice of partner?
Can an older lady actually submit to a younger guy in marriage?
Advice Derrick...
The floor is now open
Marriage is for better for all times including good times and bad times,you knew she was mummy before marrying her right? so stay in the marriage.
ReplyDeleteMr Derrick, all that glitters are not glod, you made your choice so live with it. All i can say to you is that since the issue has become this way, first and foremost is for you to get a source of livelihood cos you sound like your frustration is born out of the joblessness and cashless home you now run. You never see anything. If she no gree submit , make you get ready to sublt yourself. Women that are your age grade find it hard sometimes to be submissive let alone one that is almost 10 yrs ur aunty...
ReplyDeletesheppy01@yahoo.com
Yes older women can be submissive to their man. But he has to be THE MAN. My candid advice, go and get a job and a life, get your confidence back,do those things that made her fall for you and let her know she is letting herself go and she needs to fix it or else. If you really loved her, I say give it your best shot! No woman likes to give money to a man. It just makes you look like a looser and that is not sexy at all. If she is acting tired, maybe she is even more tired than you!! You need to work on you and quit whining!
ReplyDeleteDerrick why complaining? Didn't you put all those into consideration before falling for your boss hence loosing your job as a result of the company policy, you dey mumu o, stay in your marriage and work it out.
ReplyDeleteIgnatius(igna1982@yahoo.com)
Derrick should have consulted friends before marrying mummy, but now that decision has been already and things have gone sour. Let him look up to God for help.
ReplyDeleteDerrick should have consulted friends before marrying mummy, but now that decision has been already and things have gone sour. Let him look up to God for help.
ReplyDeletechai dis is serious ....derick go get a job den luv ur woman truly in dt way she wil luv u bck,go for couselin ,tel hw u want her to dres en buy dos clothes ursef den adopt children
ReplyDeleteMarriage is for better for worse Derrik, but although the mistake has been made, I still see a light at the end of the tunnel, am not saying that marrying an older lady is wrong, but marrying an ignorant older lady is what is wrong. Talk to her about it, if doesn't change,then Go along with your people, remarry, but this time around in church, nt in court. So that God will bless your union. Remember you marry for Love not reaches. Godbless. Chibuikeakubude@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteGet a job and be the man to command the respect you want
ReplyDeleteA virgin for you? i cant laff.
ReplyDeletederrick you have made your mistake, if its not working between you 2 considering her age, file for a divorce and work away,start your life afresh
ReplyDeleteits obviuos you have been used to mummy from time that is why you ended up with mummy, if not i don't see why your family should dictatate for you
ReplyDeletei go with what Dr. Joy said, derrick get a job and be the man that can be in charge
ReplyDeleteelooghene
small boy, running after mummy, you better move and and go get a life
ReplyDeletewilliams
please @ williams the blogger said constructive advice, no insult.
ReplyDeletehey whats your problem?@tricia, you better mind your own business before i cut you with my words stupid
ReplyDeletei was made to understand right from time that marriege is for better and for worse...And apart from that its a life time Academy / Institution. As human we all have what is called power of Choice, but its so unfortunate that some times we get controled by the influnce and power of our Choices. Derrick, Presumed to had made a right choice but Uknown to him that would be the biggest of his mistakes. let him bear the consequences so to have a story to tell all yet to be Couples.
ReplyDeleteIs it that women cant just submit when they assist the man with money for a while?
ReplyDeleteYahoo boy
ReplyDelete@Derrick, you are the architect of this whole mess you now find yourself. As for the age difference, i dont think its too much a gap. Once you love a woman, you should get submission in return. Just ask yourself truly if u still care abt her.
ReplyDeleteShe is only 44, she can still concieve, pray to God about it and make the home a convinient place for her. In all this strife, how would she ever take in
ReplyDeleteSome of us are finding it very hard to control the ones that we are older than, talkless of the older ones...
ReplyDeleteLeaving her is not d solution and u should have known dat b4 getting into marriage with a lady older than u do,there would be time u d man will be looking younger and she would be looking older,bcos of d age difference. Again do u guys really know each other b4 venturing into marriage?bcos those are d things you two would put into consideration b4 getting into dis life time business. Its not an easy thing to start seeing something different from what u see initially b4 getting into marriage. You two should try and know ur differences,I pray that God would provide u a good job and d aspect of ur wife,its still very possible 4 her to conceive is a matter of time,and I will advice her to start taking good care of herself very well bcos of ur age difference. The reason why d whole thing is like this,its bcos things are not working d way it ought to or d way u people expected,so u two should commit everything concerning d marriage and ur lives into d hands of God and see if he would not change things in u peoples lives. For d man try and pardon her behavior,first its bcos she is older than u and secondly its d situation u people are surrounded with,so its not an easy thing but with God all things are possible. My dear its well with ur life,ur marriage,and u both in jesus
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, it is always good to puase and think before taking any step. Marriage is for better for worst oh. I suggest you go to God in prayer.
ReplyDeleteMarriage to an older woman isn't d issue ere,she can b very submissive and loyal,but u d young. Man should also act up to a man dat u are,take charge via money issue and provision for ur family,she is old and can't conceive,lol wat wia u expecting?all d same love conquers all,so both should understand each oda and swallow pride,so to make a gud home.
ReplyDelete