My dearest reader,i say a very dearie merry Xmas to you and a prosperous 2014.This week, thoughts of secrecy had sway and as usual, permit me to get your take on this.
If you had several abortions before you got into this new relationship that is already headed to the altar, would you tell it all?
If your ex wife left you because you had an incurable low sperm count situation, would yout tell it all to your new beauty queen?
If your husbands best man made passes at you on your bachelors eve night, would you tell your husband to be?
If you have an ongoing affair that now has a child to it, would you tell it all?
If your spouse is in a very dubious line of business? Would you tell it all?
If your spouse is a public office holder and he embezzles public funds, would you tell it all?
Would you go to the police if you found a bag of money in a cab?
If you discovered that your partner is gay, would you tell it all?
If you are lesbian, and marriage pressure finally catches up with you, will you tell your spouse you still lesbianize?
Can you tell anyone that you masturbate often?
Is it known to your spouse, inspite of her gyming to stay fit and trim,that you prefer a physique more robust than she is?
Can you ever tell anyone that you have blood on your hands?
Can anyone open up to all, that their source of wealth is fetish?
If you told your suitor or spinster all there is to you, wont they take off?
Secrets seem to adorn themselves with a great clout of evil, mischief, self-centredness, coupish moves, and always tempting one to justifying the need to tell a lie.
Once revealed they can be major trust-breakers even with more grave consequences. People who are ardent secret keepers can go any lenght to keep the secret secret.
Please pray hard not to get in the way of their secrets. In worst cases, they might even come after one's life just to keep the information to themselves.
A blown up secret often leaves sores and scars that are indelible, irrepairable and in some cases trigger some sort of vengeance.
I am wondering if there could ever be sincere reasons to tell a lie, or a chain of lies? some call it truthful lies, diplomacy, information management, classified information and so on.
For spouses, can there be a justified reason to lie or keep secrets as the case may be? Are some information not kept in the dark to avert trouble?
Lets talk about this
The floor is now open.
@bONDEDHOME, .merry Xmas to you too. I must say you are doing a very fantastic job here. Is there anything as Truthful lies? if it is a lie, it can only be a lie. all these are just ways people try to justify their actions. if you aske me, secrets are always coated with negative vibes, One should strive to live a very plain, simple and God fearing life always.
ReplyDeleteOlalekan Ope
Nice question...mostly rhetorical. But, honestly, to an extent, I'd rather keep calm in order to retain my trust. All I have to do to free my mind of the punishment is to confess to my God and let go of any other confession. The only exception to "Telling it all" has its dependence on your SAID spouse (or the person you'r telling). To be frank, I hate loosing my trust in any way. Nice day, all! Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteBut why venture into doing things that you have to end up concealing? Leaving a complex life.my life is plain o, keeping secrets just complicates your life
ReplyDeleteMayowa
Merry Christmas everyone! Secrets make you to watch your back always. Openness with total sincerity allows for an experience of freedom and relaxation. A lie has no other name but LIE! Margaret (Umuahia)
ReplyDeletesecrets secrets secrets
ReplyDeleteIts my life and I can decide to keep stiffs to myself
ReplyDeleteSusan
Hmmm, Somethings are better kept silent over, because it would bring more trouble dan peace,ok hear this, how do I tell my husband that I slept with his brother, while he was away on course? Isn't it better a secret?
ReplyDeleteVery funny....am i suppose to have poisoned someone and then tell hius family itr was me?
ReplyDeleteSometimems you realy have to keep secrets to keep your cool, sanity, privacy and peace. Secrets are mainly offsprings of our imperfections. So why not?
ReplyDeleteSecrets have become a fundamental part of our lives. Even though the majority of them are aalways very shady and dark things. There might be need for some seecrecy on some issues.
ReplyDeleteAkerele
@Akerele, could you be kind enough to state these acceptable things that can be kept secret?
ReplyDeleteBernard, Iju
Its always good to let sleeping dogs lie.
ReplyDeleteGreat post I must say.Hmmmm!To tell,or not to tell?Well,I feel for married couples and "about to be married" couples,openness is the best policy.I believe once you are married or in a serious relationship,you have joined the company called "Transparency International"hehehe.If you refuse to tell your spouse those secrets,I can assure you that people who you haven't sent on an errand,will help you deliver the message and narrate the story to your spouse.
ReplyDeleteThe unfortunate thing is that,these people will help narrate it to your spouse in a more creative and interesting way than you would have!cos they will help add some jara.Lol.
Somethings r beta left unsaid cos u can get d mata even more complicated,just like u r putting petrol on fire,everybody has 1 or 2 secrets,n it beta u keep mute,something u don't knw will not hurt u,but if it gonna affect d ur patner or some1,it is advisable u look 4 a way around it n spill it out,but if ur secret is not gonna affect any1 pls keep it to ursef n repent from it 2 avoid future accurance.....
ReplyDeleteAzzizat
@Azzizzat Are you of the opinion thhat people should keep secrets at all. If it wont hurt anyone...den why is it a secret? On the contrary, i ld advice that everyone should try as much as possible to keep a very open slate. Secretsare usually dark things we are not so proud of. Yesan when you spill it, it may not go down well with ur partner, it is up to them to either judge you or accept you for being plain to them.
ReplyDeleteJeniffer, Abuja
If you by chance hide anything from your partner, expect the worse when he/she fnds out on their own accord. Some homes have collapsed because of such things.
ReplyDeleteLara
There is nothing as secrets...they always come open.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to really keep secrets, then you must be ready to eliminate evryone that knows abt it. Get ready to keep burying evidences. If you even look at it closely. Secrets are always implicating.
ReplyDeleteDiran, Lagos
Nothing like truthful lies. A lie is a lie and it cant be but a lie.
ReplyDeleteTell urself the truth always and stay clear of trouble.
Peace
this is a good blog. true issues are being discussed here. let us face it, we all have issues and sometimes we all have secrets. some of them we are proudly keepin and others we are not so proud of .but for our peace and for those we love, some of them are better kept as secrets. its just inevitable.
ReplyDeleteMarion
Hmm. telling truthful lies like lawyers do, like politicians do. like the police do , like the state CIDs and SSS do, like media houses do?
ReplyDeleteEbere
if love go cover your eye you con begin dey jabo, i pity you..The sad truth is that if you actually open up to youi incoming man that all these things you have were given to you by your former boyfriend, mayb you ave a car and a house from an Alhaji and you tell your new bobo that just got job with Zenith bank or gtb or mtn, will he not be thinkin that you are after his money, will he not be thinkin that yoiu still see Alhaji anyday you asssit him with cash?
ReplyDeletefoggerit, you are still seeing him. Aristo
ReplyDeleteYou see what i mean? from the mugu ahead? these things are better left unsaid r even lied about.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Chigoziem but you can call me Chizzy
Peeps, life is too short for all that burden that comes with keeping secrets. i will rather keep eveyrthing open abeg.
ReplyDelete@bondbetter, you are doing a fantastic job here. please keep it up. Whenever i come here, i see something very reasonable to ttake away from the stories you blog abt. kp it up
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm. this is just a well thought out one... bindedhome...nice one. i want to share with you guys something i know someone currently experiencing. My friend has proof that her fater sleeps with their househelp and she is keeping it a top secret. she has them on video. she is hiding the matter frm her mother and anyone. is she in order?
ReplyDeletepls repsond bondedhome.
Just Bose
very interesting, for the sake of peacein that family, she may have to leave this one as a secret.
ReplyDeleteLekuma
too bad...if she keeps it a secret it means she supports it.
ReplyDeletethis one na real secret i tell you
ReplyDeleteRanging capable of disrupting your marriage ,don't say it.just ask God for forgiveness...if u must say it,wait for the right age,right time..when either of you is aged,say 65 or 70 yrs, then u can begin to share bad past ,at that age,there is enough maturity to stand whatever anyone says..
ReplyDeleteAnything capable of disrupting your marriage,don't do it. There is always a right time .wait north of you are aged ,I mean when your hub is 65 or 70 yrs old,you guys can begin to share youthful experience.
ReplyDelete@Abayomi, wouldnt that be keeping secrets for years and eventually breaking or crahsing the trust gained over the years?
ReplyDelete@Abayomi, have you forgotten that at that age, bad revealations can cause heart attacks, high blood pressures and other health issues? would you say a woman shoukd tell her husband at age 70 that all the children are not his...? abeg revise your advice o
ReplyDeleteJohn M
@ JOHN M...ok then no one shd talk
ReplyDeleteSeriously o, this matter is a serious one for me, some secrets are better of been left as secrets
ReplyDelete@Baondedhome, Lie is Lie. Any untold truth will follow one to the grave, thus giving room for a questionable credential of making Heaven. In summary, let truth be told in all.
ReplyDelete