Monday 24 February 2014

ANY ISSUES RAISING AFRICAN CHILDREN ABROAD?


I was at a wedding over the weekend and I witnessed a  scenario that not only stunned me but left me thinking. You should read this and give a second thought before sending your child off to the West...
 
Before I let you in, look at these  questions. When is the best time to send your child abroad? Is it from childhood? After secondary school or after graduating from University? What are the challenges raising African Children abroad?
 
As the wedding reception unfolded and everyone dinned and wined, a very beautiful, polish skinned, foreign accented woman walked briskly outside trying to receive a call. Suddenly, we heard a very loud scream...she drew attention, her husband had joined her, picked up the phone too and with a foreign accent started yelling. “What is it, what is it Nina?... What did you say to your mum Nina?” Nina called Nigeria to tell her parents that her only sister, Nino had just drugged herself and she is no longer breathing; and she dropped a note claiming she had to “did what she did” because her parents would not let her marry the Indian guy, she truly loves...the love of her life.

 With the woman now in tears and people now gathered, the man drops the "Oyinbo" accent and faced his wife..."You see, you did not raise my children well. Your child committed suicide, just because I was protecting her from an unknown Indian man with strange culture" his wife responds, without the oyinbo accent too. "You dare blame me? Did I not warn you that we should raise our children with my sisters back home and ask them over when they come of age? Did you agree? Now you call her my daughter". "They started fighting and people, their relatives managed them away from public view.

 
Now my thoughts, what factors make it more difficult raising children abroad?

No matter where the child is raised, isn't it the parents duty to train up the child in God's way?

Despite our "leadership" situation in Africa, it appears we still have high moral values compared to other parts.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

 
From any perspective, please share your views.

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Sunday 16 February 2014

LIVE - IN LOVERS, LIVING IN TROUBLE

As I headed home from church on Sunday, I saw something that looked like a street fight, spreading like wild fire. Trust me to enquire what was "gwan". It turned out to be a menace that is fast eating up the youths these days... On a closer range, a lady, I understand they call her Tami, was been forced out of by her brothers and her mum from her live-in lover's house. And guess what, SHE WAS RESISTANT. 

She insisted she is going no where, neither is he packing out. I heard her mum lamenting..."Tami, no be so dem dey marry man, if he wan marry you, make e come pay your dowry, your papa pay my dowry" meanwhile, her brothers were trying to attack her lover and Tami insisted they ll have to kill her first before touching him.

Well, I gathered that Tami and her boyfriend, Austin, both students of a Tertiary institution have been cohabiting as "husband and wife" without any form of traditional commitment or whatsoever, and of course without the knowledge of their parents and family members. News even have it that she has had to abort twice and almost lost her life on the second one. She fetches water, cooks, wash his cloths, organise the house, warm his bed and gets beaten on the slightest situation, yet she is constantly monitoring him against other girls.

Despite her academics suffering brutally she is still hell-bent on staying with Austin no matter what anyone says. One of the compound women says to Tami's mother, "make una comot una pikin for this boy hand o,or pursue the boy comot for una pikin house o, because the way e dey beat am ehn, one day e go just kill am" while that was on, Tami's resistance has triggered her brother to slap her ruthlessly...Austin fights back and there is total chaos...Tami screams, "you people should leave my husband alone o, to get a husband is not easy o"...

A well-beaten Austin responds, "your husband? When did we get married? Who would marry a lady like you with these hoodlums as your brothers?... You could see visible flame on their heads...Tami, flared up, went for his jugular, "you must be joking, after all I have done for you, after you have seen everything" PANDEMONIUM. It went gaga...

You must have seen one or two of these kind of relationships, share your bit with us.

ECCL 3.1 For everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under the heaven.

Why do people Live-in when they are NOT married?
Is it a wrong thing to do?
Do they ever lead to marriage?
What are the consequences of this kind of relationship?

The floor is now open

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Sunday 9 February 2014

WHY YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM SHADY DEALS

Wura and her mother are in the bedroom...Wuras’ tears are almost filling a bowl now. She sobs on.

Mammi - Wura, these tears would not bring a solution to whatever it is that is making you cry. No matter what it is...it has to be spoken in words. Speak my child, open up to me, I am your mother and I will not kill you. Wura, did your husband catch you with another man? Or does he have other children out there? Tell me Wura... What is it?

Wura - Mammi, If only it had to do with that, I would not be worried at all.

Mammi - Then, what is it? Please go straight to the point before you give me hypertension here.

Wura - Mammi, Dapo has brought trouble to our home o.

Mammi - How? What has he done this time? Ahh Dapo, ma pa omo mi fun mi- meaning...Dapo, do not kill my child for me.

Wura - Mammi, this Sunday, after church, we got home and everyone was tired and needed rest. Dapo got on the bed and slept off almost immediately.

Mammi - ok?

Wura - Then his phone started ringing. Someone kept on calling continuously. I don't usually pick his phone so I put it on silence and proceeded to Tade's room to tell him to iron his school uniforms now that the light was on and I made sure he started ironing the first shirt before I left his room. By the time I got upstairs Mammi, my husband's phone has rung eleven more times by same number. So I decided to call back at least to tell the person that my husband would call back when he is awake. Before I could dial, the call came in again from that number and I picked it.

Mammi- Yes, so who is that person that is calling as if he is being owed money or what kind of wahala is that? Its only doctors that I know are called like that...abi has Dapo become a doctor?

Wura- Mammi, the person started "Now you don't want to pick my calls right? You think you can make away with our money just like that?" You son of a bitch accountant. Now let me warn you...time for warning has passed. You have touched the tail of the python, so expect its venom" Mammi, at this point, I Screamed Yeee, Mogbe...Dapo...the man went on and said...’’Madam, I pity you and your only child’’

Mammi - Yee, mogbe, my only grand child. Ahh! What has your husband done?

Wura - Mammi, then I woke him and told him what just happened, he said I should ignore them, they are some of his greedy business associates and that they can't do anything.

Mammi - Ask him very well, let him confess what he has done and go and give them their money back immediately. Are you people not rich enough? Why is he owing somebody money?

Wura - Mammi, just yesterday the security man brought an envelope and it was addressed to me. So I opened it and guess what I saw Mammi.

Mammi - What's inside the envelope, tell me...

Wura- Two pictures of Tade...
Mammi- Yeee! Tade? Haaa. Dapo has finished me.

Wura- The first picture shows Tade arriving at school in the morning and the other one of the him entering the car after school.

Mammi- They are monitoring my grandchild? For what? What has he done to them? Give me your phone let me call Dapo right away.

Wura- Mammi, Dapo has switched off his phone for a while now, so that he cannot be reached. Mammi, they also added a short note saying "tell your husband to give us our money or say good bye to your son Olutade Oladapo''

Mammi- Screams...Haaa Dapo..Dapo has finished me.

Wura- Resumes her tears...
Now the bowl might just get filled as both mother and child are sobbing.

You have read it.                               
What should Wura do? Tell the police and possibly get the husband sacked and jailed? Or
keep quiet and risk their only son's death ?
When couples discover that their partners are into crimes, what should they do?

1 Timothy 6:9-10
But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs -

Bondedhome Counsellors, please advice Wura, her husband and every other couple who might be experiencing such.


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Sunday 2 February 2014

IS IT ACTUALLY A COMPLEMENT WHEN MEN SAY ''YOU LOOK SEXY''?



If you were in my shoes, as a lady at my age and stage, you would probably do same or even worse than I have done. When I was recruited as Secretary to the Chairman in an oil and gas servicing company in South South Nigeria, I needed to impress and oppress anyone that cared to stare. And guess what? I had a billion bunch of guys who queued up daily to have a lustful look at my "gifts". I really know I have it.

Aside being beautifully made, I am a beauty in all ramifications. Thanks to my mother who is half Nigerian and Half Indian. So, guys flocked around me. The guys in my new company would just say "fine girl" and I smile, blush and sometimes act as if it were a lie. My direct boss, the Chairman would take it the next level and nicely say, "Helen, you look sexy"...I think I found more satisfaction in that than anyone just calling me "fine girl". My chairman is however married and his family lives in the U.S.

Naturally, my Boss and I drew closer, and things got groovier when we had to work late. As a high-tech Secretary that I am, I would always try to look sharp, always with my hour glass and constantly dotting-off any spot on my face on a per second check. My boss kept on showering these praises on me "You Are Sexy".... I liked it and took it very serious. As he usually would need to prepare urgent proposals...one of those evenings, I dropped my pen right in his front and bent to pick it up, with my short gown prepared to nicely give way for my G-string... 

My boss flared up..."How dare you do that? Look let me tell you, the day you try that again, you would be gone. Are you about to turn this office to a brothel or what? I must tell you Helen, if its not for Chief Tejiri (My uncle) who referenced you, I would have shown you the way out since. I warn you sternly...Don't ever do that here anymore"

He rained all the insults on me. This left me very confused...I thought I helped his guts. If he says I'm sexy everyday, what does he mean? I am not the type that would throw herself at just any man...but he has been telling me everyday that I look sexy...and yet too slow to make the move.

When a man tells you, you look sexy, what does it imply?
Where did I go wrong in this?

1 Corinthians 6:19
Dont you realise that your body is the temple of the holy -spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself
20: For God bought you with a high price. So you must honour God with your body. 


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