As
I headed home from church on Sunday, I saw something that looked like a street
fight, spreading like wild fire. Trust me to enquire what was "gwan".
It turned out to be a menace that is fast eating up the youths these days... On
a closer range, a lady, I understand they call her Tami, was been forced out of
by her brothers and her mum from her live-in lover's house. And guess what, SHE WAS RESISTANT.
She insisted she is
going no where, neither is he packing out. I heard her mum
lamenting..."Tami, no be so dem dey marry man, if he wan marry you, make e
come pay your dowry, your papa pay my dowry" meanwhile, her brothers were
trying to attack her lover and Tami insisted they ll have to kill her first
before touching him.
Well,
I gathered that Tami and her boyfriend, Austin, both students of a Tertiary
institution have been cohabiting as "husband and wife" without any
form of traditional commitment or whatsoever, and of course without the
knowledge of their parents and family members. News even have it that she has
had to abort twice and almost lost her life on the second one. She fetches
water, cooks, wash his cloths, organise the house, warm his bed and gets beaten
on the slightest situation, yet she is constantly monitoring him against other
girls.
Despite
her academics suffering brutally she is still hell-bent on staying with Austin
no matter what anyone says. One of the compound women says to Tami's mother, "make
una comot una pikin for this boy hand o,or pursue the boy comot for una pikin
house o, because the way e dey beat am ehn, one day e go just kill am"
while that was on, Tami's resistance has triggered her brother to slap her
ruthlessly...Austin fights back and there is total chaos...Tami screams, "you
people should leave my husband alone o, to get a husband is not easy o"...
A
well-beaten Austin responds, "your husband? When did we get married? Who
would marry a lady like you with these hoodlums as your brothers?... You could see
visible flame on their heads...Tami, flared up, went for his jugular, "you
must be joking, after all I have done for you, after you have seen everything"
PANDEMONIUM. It went gaga...
You
must have seen one or two of these kind of relationships, share your bit with
us.
ECCL 3.1 For everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under the heaven.
Why
do people Live-in when they are NOT married?
Is
it a wrong thing to do?
Do
they ever lead to marriage?
What
are the consequences of this kind of relationship?
The
floor is now open
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Wonders shall never end. These days, women have gone so desperate that they would do anything to get a man. If you ask me, I think desperacy is not the best way to go abt getting a man. Instead of being desperate,just pray to God from your heart and believe that your man would locate you. There Are many dimensions to thos issue. Some ppl are not students, they are full grown adults and even having children yet they haven't done the right stuff in presence of man and God. She needs help. Her parents Should take a great part of the blame. They shld do all they can to get her out of there. Nice one blogger.
ReplyDeletewell, love is spiritual, emotional and intentional devote to something or someone, if you take way the spiritual side of love, you have A well-beaten Austin and mum lamenting..."Tami, no be so dem dey marry man!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteanoda great piece from d master himsef....well d above scenario is not sometin new to our society...buh i realy giv d blames to d guyz...not minding am one of em...we keep urgin d girls to stay on...with promises of marriage and a future...whereas..wat we realy want is a.bed warmer...source of finance...or a glorified house gal to do the dirty jobs...come to ftink of it...no woman will stay put with a guy that has made no promises of a.future to her...so d men leads them to blivin dia lies.or youthful daydreams..n d guillible lady believes...lets nuf forget we ve seen cases wia da relationships eventually leads to the altar, buh 90 % of d time...its just anoda heartbreak...so i guess, this act should b discouraged among youths so they can have a fulfilling future.
ReplyDeletejas
U started bad but landed well..good response... Guys do not have blame when it comes to issue being raised by the admin.. A guy can say anything to attract or woo a lady,but the final power or decision lies wt the Lady...Ladies shed know that they HV more integrity or Honor than men.. No Lady will go around in the open saying" he ducked me hard" .ladies she go and buy padlock and lock that surface till they get married... Enough of sex mate... Well moral values are decreasing at a high speed..If all ladies decide not to have sex or live with men till they get married, then guys will HV no choice tan to adjust.
DeleteIt's a common thing among students, I think it's wrong and I call it 'Marriage on Credit' cos u live like married couples but you haven't paid the dowry, how then do u expect the man to respect the lady?
ReplyDeleteWell to start with, a thumbs up to the admin for this post. Man and Woman living together situation is often seen more in the higher institution were the parents are no were to be found, thus they tends to do anything within them. Sometimes it's caused by a financial melt down on the side of the lady, who tends to co inhibit with the male folks. 1-There is no need to ask whether it's wrong, of curse it's wrong and it's hypocritical act, because most ladies only do it outside there family's knowledge.
ReplyDelete2- Some of them will lead to marriage while some will not because the guy might get tired of the girl before she even notice, or the guy might put up a character that the lady will see irritating and leaves eventually.
3- most times this king of union leads to many things because first it is not ordened by God initially. It leads to unwanted pregnancy. Finally it's not god by all means.
Bad and not part of our culture. Every one should desist from it.
ReplyDeleteOk.can u tell me culture with a proof where that is accepted?
DeleteFor the matter is simple, 'the bed undefiled....'. If anyone would matter in his or her generation, it wouldn't be thru this process. Our parents and predecessors never established such foundations, so why would we kill ourselves over a man my parents have not approved. There's a major blessing in commanding the blessing of our parents especially in relationships.
ReplyDeleteGood job Admin! This is not even about culture. Its all about morals. Their is a need for us as youths to know what is right from what is wrong. Your parents can't be with you always but when they are not there, would they be able to beat their chest in total trust of what you are capable of doing? Would you be able to look them in the eye with a very sincere and pure heart when you are telling them of your activities?! Yes, the parents should train their child but I also think the child too should train his/herself. It works both ways and only two can play the game! Zainab from Lagos
ReplyDeleteDs one no b love again na lost. No woman in her rite sense will stick to such love.
ReplyDelete