Sunday, 2 February 2014

IS IT ACTUALLY A COMPLEMENT WHEN MEN SAY ''YOU LOOK SEXY''?



If you were in my shoes, as a lady at my age and stage, you would probably do same or even worse than I have done. When I was recruited as Secretary to the Chairman in an oil and gas servicing company in South South Nigeria, I needed to impress and oppress anyone that cared to stare. And guess what? I had a billion bunch of guys who queued up daily to have a lustful look at my "gifts". I really know I have it.

Aside being beautifully made, I am a beauty in all ramifications. Thanks to my mother who is half Nigerian and Half Indian. So, guys flocked around me. The guys in my new company would just say "fine girl" and I smile, blush and sometimes act as if it were a lie. My direct boss, the Chairman would take it the next level and nicely say, "Helen, you look sexy"...I think I found more satisfaction in that than anyone just calling me "fine girl". My chairman is however married and his family lives in the U.S.

Naturally, my Boss and I drew closer, and things got groovier when we had to work late. As a high-tech Secretary that I am, I would always try to look sharp, always with my hour glass and constantly dotting-off any spot on my face on a per second check. My boss kept on showering these praises on me "You Are Sexy".... I liked it and took it very serious. As he usually would need to prepare urgent proposals...one of those evenings, I dropped my pen right in his front and bent to pick it up, with my short gown prepared to nicely give way for my G-string... 

My boss flared up..."How dare you do that? Look let me tell you, the day you try that again, you would be gone. Are you about to turn this office to a brothel or what? I must tell you Helen, if its not for Chief Tejiri (My uncle) who referenced you, I would have shown you the way out since. I warn you sternly...Don't ever do that here anymore"

He rained all the insults on me. This left me very confused...I thought I helped his guts. If he says I'm sexy everyday, what does he mean? I am not the type that would throw herself at just any man...but he has been telling me everyday that I look sexy...and yet too slow to make the move.

When a man tells you, you look sexy, what does it imply?
Where did I go wrong in this?

1 Corinthians 6:19
Dont you realise that your body is the temple of the holy -spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself
20: For God bought you with a high price. So you must honour God with your body. 


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23 comments:

  1. sandra Ofili12:23 am

    How would you ever think he wants you,you should have some dignity and self respect for yourself, I also think that you should be responsible enough and quite decent to know that your boss is married,on that ground alone,even if he makes the move,you should reject suck move.it dear Bonded home I would say it depends on the mind receiving it,

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  2. njideka Asor12:50 am

    Wow interesting, I thinks when such complements is passed,it sends a wrong signal,perhaps the person passing the comment is sexually interested in who is receiving it,to me I think its more than just a complement

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  3. uche benjnr1:57 am

    Yea most times I do!

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  4. Anonymous3:17 am

    It has to do with the mind really. I get that compliment everyday from guys and I don't even take it as anything. Its not just the comment but also the action. The person telling u, u are sexy might not mean it like that. U are very wrong to jump to conclusion plus ur Boss is a married man for crying out loud! Zaeynab from Lagos.

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  5. Bolanle Owoseni4:09 am

    Well,sayin u look sexy is a strong word 4rm a guy 2 a gal. It can mean a lot of ting,bt it is left 4 d gal 2 take it as a compliment&nt read any meaning 2 it. Owoseni Bolanle

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  6. teetee4:11 am

    Hmmm. @Zaeynab, so men can say that to you all life for all you care?

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  7. In dis case, it depends on d mindset some lady takes dis statement as a complement while other's assumes, dats wat they are . But according 2 d story above d lady (secetary) had something in mind in collaboration wit d complement. She was faster than her shadow.

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  8. Anonymous1:16 pm

    I believe choosing one's words is very key even when giving compliments. A simple "nice look" or "great outfit" etc may not have given the lady the wrong impression but a continuous use of the word "sexy" by the boss gave the secretary the wrong impression. I believe there are better ways to admire and give compliments to opposite sex rather than use the word "sexy" as it can be easily misconstrued. Mato.

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  9. SPECTRA2:04 pm

    I would not attempt to define it, but trust me:I know sexy when I see it. Lol
    It is one of those overused n misunderstood words. To Ladys, don't really consider a compliment if it comes frm us: especially when wearing provocative n seductive clothing.
    I beliv Beautiful is a better compliment than "Hot n Sexy" - beautiful includes the Mind (inside)

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  10. I thinks the man will in due course make a demand. This could be a strategy of a sort. Men are funny sometimes!

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  11. Anonymous11:28 pm

    "I don't feel complemented,I feel something is wrong with my dressing." Frm my dear friend

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  12. Anonymous11:30 pm

    I feel uncomfortable wen a guy says dat to me,if i hear it i startt lukin @maself to knw if i mistakenly exposed ma body to close it up,and i avoid a close contact wit the person.

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  13. Anonymous12:04 am

    I blame the man for her actions, how can a married man compliment a lady with the word 'sexy' not once or twice like everyday. He sent the signal and she got it then reacted to it.
    The kind of compliment you get is determined most times by your outfit and besides guys can mock you in the name of compliment. Without intentions hmmm is he from another planet,don't he know how desperate some single ladies are today.

    Sirechimex

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  14. Sexy is nt a formal compliment @ all from oga to office gal.., even if d man had intensions on d secratary. She shld @least gv hersef sm respect d man shld be d first to make the move,not making hersef loose n cheap.. I guess her actions pissed him off and its an office for crying out load.

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  15. Anonymous12:31 am

    From d onset,, she's somone dt is used to dressing to kill and makin a man want her...... Every woman is sexy but dt is not the ultimate
    Bcos u won't b sexy wen u r old and saggy and by then u will wish u had done somtin more fulfiling dan feeling sexy
    She took it too far....and drs nothing wrong with 'u look sexy' wen its a compliment

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  16. Anonymous8:58 am

    Na wa for you helen you would have respect yoursself now.

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  17. richard7:00 am

    Not at all, sexy as a complement?that isn't possible, from Boss to an office Lady,its not right girl, and on no circumstance would you throw yourself at a Man,just becos he complemented you

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  18. I don't see it as a complement. I only expect such from my husband. He is the only one authorised to tell me such. The bible in proverbs chapter 5 verse18-19 says "Let ur water source prove to be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth, a lovable hind and a charming mountain goat. Let her own breasts intoxicate you at all times. With her love may you be in an ecstasy constantly". In view of the above, no man should look at another woman with lust.

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  19. You lack self respect girl, what do you except that a man admires u means he should be completely lust or go gaga over your body which is supposed to be ur utmost responsibility to protect, sometimes peoples complement can wear 2 form it could be positive or negative

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  20. philips Hanson5:38 am

    For a man to say such,there is something sexually appealing to him, so watch it girl, and next time try not to jump on someone cos he complemented you,go and sin no more

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  21. Finally the Lady is a Semi-whore if not full time. She knows that the man is married. She took the compliment to the next level, wch is wrong. Sexy is just a compliment

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