My dear reader, last week we looked through Derrick who appeared stuck in a metaphoric prison he architected with his own hands - He is married to an older lady whom he is unable to MAN. The story swept through pages of the internet as other bloggers, publicists and all, most of them did the ignorant, shameful and plagiarized "copy and paste without reference style", making it look like it were their original works thus taking all the comments that were meant to be here to their blogs, fb pages et al. It is simply ignorant and foolish for anyone to copy and paste without referencing the source. Isn't it?
Click to see the faces of some of them that copied bondedhome verbatim without proper referencing.
Yours Truly,
My mail was jam-packed with issues by this weekend, I chose to share this with you because it arrived first.
Please read on...and give your candid comments as you always do.
"I just want you guys to tell me where and how I am wrong in all these. My wife and daughter returned from the UK, truth-be-told, it was due to the fact that I could no longer afford their UK stay after one of the State Govts in Nigeria have refused to pay me despite putting almost all I have in the contract awarded some years ago. To cut the long story short, my daughter, Brenda and her mother, my wife moved back home and we live in Lekki, Lagos. My daughter, 21 now in one of our private Universities usually come home during breaks.
This break, broke everything.
One evening, I returned from a Town’s meeting and looked through the yard and saw a young man by the poolside, holding Brenda’s waist like trying to cuddle her, out of this sudden anger, I called out loudly. Brenda, of course she would not hear me, they had loud music down there. I became furious and went to my wife ...I would have gone to give that guy the beating of his life but my wife was closer so I went to her first...Who is that guy with Brenda? I asked, "Which guy?" She asked me with an attitude, as if... don't you know him? Now boiling, "who is that guy’’ I asked again ."He is Brenda's friend". ‘’Brenda's friend???’’ I screamed. ‘’Holding her like that in my yard", what impetus, what impudence, aiye e ma ta loni... (paraphrased, You will be in great trouble today) Next thing was for my wife to begin a sermon to me on how I am being too harsh to our only child and daughter and how i am old-fashioned about life...let me try and quote her or at least say all I remember.
"Brenda is no longer a baby, at age 21, she has the right to bring friends home, whether male or female? Don't forget she is my daughter too. Olaitan, please things have changed, there are so many old ladies out there that no one is even looking at, let alone marrying them...at 21 is she a kid? Isn't she ripe for marriage?, I ask you? It is okay to allow her bring her friends or anyone she loves home, so that we would not be left in the dark about her life.."By the time she was done, I took the long walk to the pool side and guess what I saw...I saw no one. My instincts told me to check the dressing room, I slammed the door open and there she was, Brenda and the young man were half-naked. The young man took off into the yard, I went after him, picked up a plastic chair, threw it at him, he dodged it and slipped into the pool. It turned out he doesn't know how to swim...by the time the security man rescued him, we got his pulse but he remained unconscious. As at the time of this mail, he is still unconscious, doctors are still on him...
I PRAY HE DOESNT DIE BUT I AM NOT SORRY IF HE SURVIVES OR NOT.
Now my wife, daughter and the guys parent seem to be pointing fingers at me and would soon involve the police.
I got this address on twitter, dictated this to my secretary to send to you so that I can get your views, the social media view where it is okay for a young unmarried lady to be smooshing under her fathers roof...
What have I done wrong?
What was I supposed to do?
When is the right time for a lady to bring a man home?
I dont understand my wife, she knew the young man and his parents.
Tell me please.
You have read it. This got me really displeased as bondedhome does not belong to the group that promotes immorality of any sort. Please good people, let us look at this issue.
The floor is now open.
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All text on this blog are original work of bondedhome. Usage or re-print of any sort is not allowed without express permission from bondedhome admin.
Ajayi Kolade
ReplyDelete@Olaitan, you need God on this one o. your wife seems to have led your child astray and i can only ask where have you been? how come you don't know the guy? for him to have such an access to your daughter in your roof at that rate, it means he is a frequent visitor. i would not say you have gone wrong but i will also say it is not always good to act in the spur of the moment. Anger has to be tamed. Pray your daughters boyfriend, son inlaw as the case may be survive it first.
Take heart man.
In this situation, easy does it. You need to counsel your daughter(religious counseling). You also need to re-orientate your wife and pray fervently. It's obvious that she(your wife) has been bitten by the 'Oyinbo' bug as she see nothing wrong in your daughter being cuddled and fondled in your home.
ReplyDeleteObviously, Brenda isn't a kid and she can be 'married' to a man but it should be done in the right manner....
Well, according to the story, ur wife and ur daughter stay in the UK wyl u stay in nigeria to foot their bills. Ur wife's indirectly acting the single mother cos ur daughter barely knows u nor u ur daughter so she culd freely bring a man home and even have sex. U haven't done anything wrong bt let's pray the dude come back to earth and then u can set the records straight with wisdom. Easy on ur wife and daughter cos u 'sold' them to enjoy and imbibe the western civilization which is in sharp contrast to our closed cultured society! So please take ur time and be patient enof to handle the situation without emotions but with great understanding of the facts on ground! God wld sure help u!! Joshe El-Mero @merotiwon1
ReplyDeleteAdejoke Toun
ReplyDeletehmmmmm. this is a tight one. Please pray that the boy comes back to life so that the table doesnt not tilt against you. Now that ypu have noo one one ur side.
Innocent A
ReplyDeleteBros, you need to apply wisdom. when a young lady at 21 is in love and is determined to kiss someone, you cannot stop her. pray that the young man comes back alive and you set the matter right.
i wish you all the best,. Your wife does not seem to be doing a great job.
anger destroys alot of things, its always advised to be calm when you are angry so you don't get to regret your action when the deed is done
ReplyDeleteyou obviously don't spend time with your family, sorry to say, but money isn't all that is needed to run a family, your attention as the father of the home is equally needed, you are yet to see the worse then am sure you would commit murder(when you find your wife sexing in your matrimonial bed), wait till then, but please don't react in anger so you won't get killed for anger
ReplyDeleteits a pity but this man has lst his family, because he decided to give them the best...so sad, just pray the boy gets better, i guess you should learn to spend much time with your family and know whats been happening in their lives
ReplyDeletei would kill her o, under my roof, i think you have a case,just incase you are taken to court, you could say it was in self defence, truthfully you don't know the boy, he broke into your apartment... case closed
ReplyDeleteyours trully you have done nothing wrong, a stranger in your home, smooching your daughter under your roof, no way!! he would face the sound of music my brother. but one more thing you don't seem to have your family in a grip, guess you should try harder on that part
ReplyDeletehappiness R.T
Please sir, acting in anger isn't the best thing to do, try and control your emotions, because it either makes a man or destroys him, call your daughter to order and pray for your family, i still know parents who are believers yet outside this country of ours and they have their kids doing well morally, my conclusion, pray to come out of this mess you are in, then try your best to renew your relationship with the supreme being GOD, he is the author of marriage, he can fix your home back
ReplyDeleteAh no be small thin ooo.parent has a lot of role to play in their children's life
ReplyDeleteAs much a i don’t support what the kids did, this is my candid advise to you olaitan, please don’t ever react in anger its not healthy
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThere was no much crime in what the girl did at all,that warrants you breaking your head for, its uncalled for, afterall you where not there for them, you sound like one of those men who believes money is all a man needs and not attention
ReplyDeleteAhhh... Please don’t talk that way, this man is on the verge of loosing his family to an immoral society and you are talking trash, please be reasonable, all he needs is a reasonable advice to help him save his family.
All i will advice you is to send your wife out of the home for some time , so that her head would clear out, how would i have a wife who i don’t know whats been happening to her, trash, send her away
ReplyDeleteWow, human beings are dangerous, how on earth would you advice him to send his wife off, you are a bad fellow, devils incarnate
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteOk thank you, i won’t insult you, because this is fasting period mr saint
You better not because i will so manifest myself to you here and now, coward
ReplyDeleteHmmm this is rather a critical one o, just pray that boy is alive, you are not even sorry for what you did to that poor boy, you will soon be sorry for yourself, my advice to you is to teach you she-goat daughter some african morales
ReplyDeleteAll these men who derive pleasure in sending thier kids abroad for class sake, then when things go wrong they would come running to us we the common man for advice, please advice yourself you aint a daft
ReplyDeleteYeah,ur right@olayemi
ReplyDeleteOlaitan plz u got to take it eazy ,u should know hw teenage age cum wit,sex urges and all .dat try and b ur daughters best. Frend despite ur wife s attitude.attacking d yung man its d best .have a heart talk wif her, b open so will she ,she is just actin her age ok! Its normal so u try and apply wisdom in it all ,all d best
ReplyDeletefuck what's morally right or morally wrong, if am to judge by my belief, its wrong for a young lady to have anything of such to do with a guy outside wedlock whether in the presense of his father or outside the parents house. Well apart from what I believe in, the truth is, it can still be done else where, if the parents get to know who the guy is, its not wrong.
ReplyDeletethank you Chux, i was wonering why everyone was busy insulting the man for trying to protet his family,especially his daughter. was he suppose to bow down and worship the man who has come to commit such great sacrilege to his daughter? or even pick up a microphone and wax an album for him? please let us be sincere. talk or dialogue comes after the violence. period.
ReplyDeleteoga, in your shoes, i would have ensured he remained in that pool, whether alive or not.
ReplyDeleteTake your time and talk to your daughter, pray that the guy comes back ok. or else, make God no let us see devil o. Olorun o ni je ka ri esu o
ReplyDeleteThese days, morals are no where to be found. you also have fault in this. your wife played a huge part in this mess and you fueled it with impatience.
ReplyDeleteYou don't quench fire with fire even the fire service uses water †Ơ quench fire you ought not †Ơ run after him immediately he took off he was scared of you that's why he took off. But as it is he'll be fine I can promise you that but I think changing the mentality of ur daughter lies in the hand of you guys (parent) and ur wife is not helping the matter at all. Nice one blogger !
ReplyDeleteMr. Olaitan, i am sorry to say, i think you have failed in being the man of this house. that is how you went wrong in this matter. your wife is a reflection of you and your daughter is a reflection of both of you. I am very suprised that you are not aware she now has a boyfriend when your wife already knows her parents. that points out the communication gap between you two which has of course taken its tuen on your daughter. please put this house in order. pray that the young man comes out of the coma. see your pastor... that is if you actually are accountable to anyone. You simpley need Jesus Christ. Money is nothing.
ReplyDelete"I dictated this to my secretary to send to you so that I can get your views, the social media view where it is okay for a young unmarried lady to be smooshing under her fathers roof..." DONT BLAME SOCIAL MEDIA SIR. ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.
ReplyDeleteI hope the young man in question recovers but the onus falls on Mr. Olaitan as the head of the house to properly educate his daughter on relationships seeing that his wife is slacking in that area. At 21, his daughter is not too young to be in a relationship but the relationship should have boundaries and should be accountable to a mentor, pastor etc.
ReplyDeleteIt is very easy and fast reaching for everyone to blame this man. but come to think of it. it is really not an easy thing to watch your daughter being screwed by someone else. it is mean. i would have done worse, seriously.
ReplyDeleteAgwu Gina
This one no be beans.
ReplyDeleteSome guys are really stupid too. imagine a guy trying to sleep with ur sista in the house and you find them, let alone when your father caught you in the act? no b small.
ReplyDeletenice blog
Mr. Olaitan, sincerely i do not blame you for any thing on the scene, i mean the action. your fault was from the onset. You did not have the home in grip.
ReplyDeletei dont think there is a right time for a young lady, i thnk there is a set time. for instance if you judge by time. the lady is 35 but no man has come, would she marr herself? so i am of the opinion that it should be by set time, most appropriate time. When she is spiritually, emotionally and physically set for marriage, only then should she bring any man home to show her parents.
ReplyDeleteLivy Ugonna
Wonders never end
ReplyDeleteIts a pity dt our culture has no value anymore! Ђôẃ dear a guy touch my daughter under my roof let alone screw h€r wen hǝ knew dt dia is someone in Ɗ house! Its Ɗ highest form of stupidity. Really i don't blame Ʋ olaitan but at Ɗ same time i'll blame Ʋ for not aving a grip on Ʊr home! Ɗ bible says dt 'train Ʊr child in Ɗ way of God n wen hǝ's old hǝ'll nt depart from it'.obviously Ʋ avnt done dt. Its nt too late to start dt though. Ʋ need to spend more time wit Ʊr family n let dem (Ʊr wife n child) know Ɗ value of morality. Let dem know dt its wot Ʋ ĸeeƿ sacred dt has great value. may God help Ʋ to put Ʊr home in Ɗ right path. As for Ɗ young man,i pray hǝ survives it n hope Ʋ av all learnth Ʊr leassons from dis. Its well
ReplyDelete4 a 21yrs old gal,she is nt 2 young 2 have a male frd,but bringing d guy 2 her parents home&kissing him is very disrespectful&d mans action was 2 rash considering d daughter grow up in UK&dey learn all sorts of tings. He shuld v allowed d guy 2 leave,dan sit&talk sense in2 d daughter&wife's head. I pray d guy makes it,cos dat wil b another case.
ReplyDeleteSent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
every one kips blaming this man for nt having a grip on his family.one of the roles of the wife in the home is to enforce rules set down by the man.how can he be hustling to care for his family n still enforce proper discipline without his wife?why then does he have a "helpmeet''? it is possible for him nt to know that the daughter has a bf or even brings him home. all that can be done wen he is out of the house. if the wife sees nothing wrong in her daughter smooshing in the house then there is a problem cos u stand the risk of raising loose granddaughters who also raise loose children. what a generation dat will be............. infact that guy should thank his God that some1 saved him. a father like mine will empty his double barreled gun on u.
ReplyDeleteinteresting................