If not for the fact that I need to stay alive for my children, I don't see any reason why I should still be here. My late husband married me when I was only 16 and he promised to send me to the University as we grow together and if our first child was a son. Well, first child came and he was a son...I was a big joker to think he would keep his promise as even my husband did not go beyond primary school and he has become successful. Yes, very successful. He is a plumber and God has blessed him with several jobs that major government contractors have re-contracted to him. "Like play like play" my husband built a house, built a second one and properties spread everywhere. I know my husband was very rich...very rich but that is all I know about his wealth. He literarily provided everything in the house; from my needs to the children's need, to the relatives...to the smallest match box we used in the house. My responsibility was to be a full housewife and take care of the children which I did dedicatedly for 35 years with four children to show.
Our children are now in the university and they are all doing fine until the 11th day of Sept, 2013, that dark day, we lost our husband and father to a ghastly motor accident and that introduced me to how poor we have been, yet in wealth. A befitting burial was given to him and all expenses were settled by his brothers.
Our children study outside the country, in Ghana to be precise and our sole breadwinner, my husband usually gives them sufficient money to carry them for 3 months. Burial is now over and they have to go back to school. I simply headed to his bank with a cheque book I found in the room hoping to access cash for our upkeep. His account officer who has practically become a family friend welcomed me nicely, took the cheque book I had and said, "Ma, this account has been very dormant for a long time. He didn't really use this account. How else may I help you madam?" He asked "I need money from my husbands account so that my children can go back to school" I said. "Hmmm, madam I am afraid there seem to be a mix up here, I believe you are aware that your husband made his brother Chief. Egbu his Next of Kin and that implies that he is the only one that can actually access his cash" he said to me. I couldn't interpret that information to its detail but I sensed there was big trouble "How?" I screamed" He led me into an office and continued "madam, Chief Egbu even came here with a Letter of Administration from the court.
This document enables him to access all the cash in your late husbands account. He even swore to me that you are fully aware and that you would have come with him to the bank if not for an emergency you needed to sort out" Hmmmm, I fainted.
Dear reader, as at time of this letter, my husbands account officer has confirmed to me that my husband had close to N100Million before his death and this money has been transfered into a foreign account. I am dead alive. I died. How come my husband kept me In the dark? I cry all day and at night, my husband appears to me, trying to whisper
Inaudible words to me. I don't know if its a trance or I'm dreaming or hallucinating, I really do not know, I am loosing my mind every second, please advise me what to do, where do I start from?
my children are still at home now the school fees has not been cleared, I am gradually dying, I need help. What would happen to our future?
Bondedhome Counsellors, you have read her story...
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh.
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wow...this is a serious issue, highly unfair on the part of the woman and the kids,from all indication this woman doesn't have a penny to herself,its a hard bone to crack, but i would rather make my spouse my next of kin thats the wisest and safest thing to do, and as a banker you next of kin has all access to your wealth as long as it is banked
ReplyDeleteIf you have any challenge leaving your comments here, please send your comments/name to zeesdiamond@gmail.com.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Does dis still happen in dis era? Well dats y every woman needs to have a source of income
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, very pathetic! Two things how could he have done that to his kids and wife? Then, how could he have done that to himself?
ReplyDeleteWhy was madam so daft or forget that no man can 'choose' when death should visit.
Well, if she is smart enough to know where the documents of her husband' s property is....sell some houses, pay the bills and start a trade.
Please by all means, don't loose your mind.
Jay PH
Hmmmm very pathetic. I don't see why any reasonable young man should use his wife as next of kin. Because if he uses her as next of kin when they are young. The day he dies..that is the end. She would just go and enjoy his money with another man. She would re-marry and spend all ur hard earned cash. My candid opinion.
ReplyDeleteAustine B
What do you understand by the word wife? A life partner or a child production factory. Your ought to be your next of kin cus she is your life partner, biblically both of u are one.
DeletePlease seek spiritual help immediately. As that man u see in ur dream is not ur husband o. He is gone...d devil is playing with yor spirit man.
ReplyDeleteJosephine
Dis is a very serious matter and dat is why I don't support a married woman to be a full housewife. If she was educated and had a living by herself, dat would av been an alternative to her pressing need. She was living in wealth and she relaxed totally forgeting dat death can come anytime. See d mess she and her children are now. I really pray dat God will help her and her children
ReplyDeleteLet us always ensure that our next of kin are trusted relatives
ReplyDeleteAmuda Kayode
Meet your husband brother 1st and lets see how he do.
ReplyDeleteA respondsible man w always do wat w make is wife happy becos his wife n children is d first family as.
ReplyDeleteI felt her pain,n I also blame her,4 35yrs she has been idle,doing notin but to spend her husband's moni,she shld meet wit her husband's broda,if his God fearing he will assist,@ least 4 d children to finish der education,but if he insist his not gonna assist,sell ur husbands cars,his cloth,wrist watches n wateva dat can make moni,pending d time she sorts her ass out,
ReplyDeleteBut come to think of it,doesn't she hv any savings @ all?am just thinking aloud
Azzizat Akanji
Hm! What a world! This story is very touching! Not much to say tho but Madam, get in touch with the official 'next of kin' and try talk to him with prayers I believe he wld assist with the kids schl bills till they r outta schl and can fend for themselves. Besides, you may need to search the house earnestly: there may be some properties your husband forgot to hand over to the 'next of kin', no dulling, kindly sell @ the current market value. His personal briefs, u can as well sell the 'saleables' and the proceeds used to assist the kids further and also develop urself. Learn a trade: catering, baking, tailoring, etc...so that life can truly go on! Pls don't wish to die cos u deserve to get rewarded by ur kids someday. Stay strong and decisive, God will see you thru! Amen! Joshe El-Mero @merotiwon1
ReplyDeleteMadam please don't loose your mind o. It has happened it has happened. Let us hope that your husbands next of kin is not a bad person that would not be sincere to his brother beacaus if he is...u may need to CaLl ur elders in the vilage to it
ReplyDeleteThis ȋ̝̊̅§ really a touching story and even an eye opener to every good-headed man. To the woman, "Cast Ɣø̲̣̣u̶̲̥̅̊r cares unto the Lord..."
ReplyDeleteMaobee
Its a good thing that you know your late husband has houses, just go get the documents of his assets and sell them before the brothers comes for them... You need a solicitor also....
ReplyDeleteOne should never seat back and not work. its very wrong, dangeros and it shows that you are very lazy. its very cleasr frm this story
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS REALLY SERIOUS. ALL THIS IS FAULT OF ILLETERACY AND TRUST
ReplyDeleteYou may not be handle this alone and at lenght. First things first.sell anything you can and send your children back to school and invite the acct officer to a family meeting and table your story all over.
ReplyDeleteOnyi
people should wake up. For Gods sake, how can you just sit back and at unconcerned about your husbands property and wealth all becasue he provides everything for you? . i am tempted to say you perharp[s married him for his money.. that aside. the dreams where u see ur husband is the devil manipulating you with a familiar spirit. see a Priest immediately
ReplyDeleteObire
This next of kin topic is diacy. is anyone asking me to make my young wife my next of kin? so that if something happens to me tommorow she would simply remarry and she and her new husband would enjoy my hard earned money? seriously the only time i can make my wife my next of kin is when we have children together.
ReplyDeleteSola
hmmmm. this is a very good blog here. nice one blogger. People dont make infomed choices. they just follow , follow follow.
ReplyDeletedont loose your mind, now you realy have to stay strong. the children need you. please talk to everyone in the family, the children, your husbands brothers and everyone who has ear to listen in the family.
ReplyDeletei dont think that your husbands acct officer is innocent too.
ReplyDeletethe best next of kin you can have is your wife, husband and sometimes children..
ReplyDeleteLere
Well my dear sister, you seem imature even though you are old. or you simply chose to cover up your husbands flaws espcially now that he is dead. lets assume your husband was a good man and he out of illetracy did not get you invol;ved in financial matters, couldnt he has also told you who was his next of kin? how come you are just knowing now thet Oga Egbu is his next of kin.
ReplyDeleteBrenda Uko
@Brenda, it is very easy to say all those once you are not the victim
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your husbands death but gone are those days when women sat back and alloweed their husbands do all the work. its not healthy. if something bad happens, the woman looses. she is helpless. See now. i have learnt from this one.
ReplyDeleteMuyiwa
OMO ILITERACY IS A DISESASE.. MEHN
ReplyDelete@Sola, you may not get a wife if she ever reads your comments here. Once you are married, your wife is the closest person to you,, not your fatjer or your mother or your siblings. so note strongly that you are meant to embrace the woman totally after marriage. marry only if you are really ready. no be for boys and girls
ReplyDeleteAmin
i cant believe this.
ReplyDeleteIt is better u know d nature, d kind of human being ur next of kin is.Bt human being are unpredictable
ReplyDeleteFatai
The Bible is very complete. It is written that woe unto any man who puts his trust in man. So I m really unshocked.
ReplyDeleteOsaro
Woman, at this point, you are hallucinating and you need God on this one. Kneel down and talk to the holy spirit to cofort you. Don't worry your head abt how the money has gone with his brother, Cos worry would stand your life still on one spot. And as a matter of urgency...get bz.
ReplyDeleteClementina PH
What I do not undastand is y a married man should make his brother the next of kin, negleting the wife and children entirely. Well the wife should only rely on hope, beg the husband's brother for aid and see wot happens next. Finally I think dis should act as a warning to the fellow fathers/husband of dis type. Welldone admin, for dis post.
ReplyDeleteDo these things happen?
ReplyDeleteMen should learn to use their wife or kids as next of kin to guide against in-laws taking over the husby's props after his demise.ƒσя 35yr,the woman should ЂΑ̲̅vε̲̣̣̣̥ at least open a shop in front of their to keep her busy and to settle miscellenous @ home con i feel no matter Ɯα†̥ the husby can't giv her Ɯα†̥ she needs 100%.ƒσя th kids they should cry to their uncle,and shouldn't ask ƒσя money,but somthing like scholarship and their upkeep.it is well with them i pray
ReplyDeletehow could your husband keep such an info from you?
ReplyDeleteSo much have been said about a woman being a full-housewife, but I beg 2 say d problem isn't being a full housewife, but how do u man and woman plan ur home! How on earth should a woman not know her husband's worth not 2 talk of her not being his next of king? d issue shouldnt b debatable! Am married 4 5 years now, by God's grace, my wife knows me in and out! Next of kin should b our spouses NOT even children EXCEPT if one suffers disability dat debar her frm taking certain decisions or responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteChoi, dis is a very critical issue,God is watchin!ma plz take it eazy,ur star wil shine,just b prayerful,and try and meet ur husbands brother ask him for assistance,its we'll
ReplyDeleteThe woman can go to law and a good lawyer fan turn arround the verdict using court injunction will surmon the husband kinsman to relate the legacy behind been the next of kin and sometimes its done to guide against the family name and in that way some returns will be passed by law to the family or enforced
ReplyDeleteAll hope may not be lost in such cases
But I think ideally my kids should be my next of kin not even my wife
The woman can go to law and a good lawyer fan turn arround the verdict using court injunction will surmon the husband kinsman to relate the legacy behind been the next of kin and sometimes its done to guide against the family name and in that way some returns will be passed by law to the family or enforced
ReplyDeleteAll hope may not be lost in such cases
But I think ideally my kids should be my next of kin not even my wife