By
the time you are reading this, we must have wedded. But first, read my wedding day
Pre-marital Sex Revelation. Olalere is my name
When the Officiating Minister asked if anyone knew why we should not be wedded, my heart skipped. I had seen two of my ex's and they did not quite smile...it looked like they had come to see the "unfortunate lady" who has agreed to say yes to me.
Temisan
and I dated or courted as the case may be for close to a year and it brought
out the best in us as we hope to see the rest in marriage.
Well,
I write this with a very deep sense of guilt. I knew a very good reason why we
should not marry, but the question was not directed to me and who in his right
senses would disrupt his own wedding? So I kept it quiet believing that when we
got married, things would iron out themselves.
I
had an accident some years ago that almost claimed my life. It left me alive
yet almost dead...as I now have one testicle and my manhood also has several
cuts...I am scared I may never satisfy a woman on bed, let alone father children...But
I couldn't bring myself to telling my fiancé all these...for fear of loosing her
and of course the overwhelming irreparable shame.
Now,
I turn my anger to the church for
teaching people not to have sex before marriage. If we had attempted it like I
did with the other ladies,-who walked away at that point- we would have known our
fate. I even tried to touch her, she would just flee as if I were a leper
claiming this and that...Church talk, always far from the reality...
Time
is ticking off and I await that moment of truth when she will have to see me in
my naked and deeply uncertain state...
So,
my question to you @bondbetter and your readers is to tell me what you think
about sex before marriage…
Isn't
it okay to have a few rounds when the couple are sure they would be getting married?
What
should I do? My wife is going to find out in few hours time and I am very sure
she would not like it.
nichenaija.blogspot.com
Hmmmmm...that's a deep one! But to speak sincerely and carnally, I fink if u r getting married to someone, u gotta know the person and that includes sex bcos u wld live a lifetime with this person! A lil taste of the 'sweet fruit' won't kill! Thank God for grace, both can stop having sex and repent till legally bonded afterwards! U don't wanna see a sex starved woman in her fury! #jusmyopinion Joshe El-Mero
ReplyDeleteDearest Olalere,
ReplyDeleteYour situation is rather pathetic. However and truthfully it doesn't make God a liar or the church and its teachings deceitful. Whatever we do, we need to identify the standard, Gods standard. From your tone, the anger against the church part, you sound like a christian. I know that you must have heard it clearly in church that God forbids Fornication. Read Romans 1:28-32, Matt 5:28. Bros, didn't God create you?, He is capable to take very good care of your reproductive health. Just trust him instead of committing sin. That's my take.
I still told some ladies last week at a bridal shower that I think it makes better sense..if not that the bible disapproves. Else while some of us stayed chaste till the great wedding night, we are supposed to just be able to to summersault and get wild???? Abeg talk is too deep. At work ATM
ReplyDeleteBk Flex
This does not justify sex before marriage. Sex outside marriage is sin. the important thing is transparency to each other. there are lots opf marital problems that you cannot detect through sex eg. infertility from both male and female, ruptured or completely removed womb, hiv, herpatitis b and other deadly disesases cannot be detected through pre-marital sex. LET GOD LEAD YOU. The bible says watch and pray. Ie. support your physical effort with prayer
ReplyDelete2 bad 4 them, but he would ve told her b4 marriage, its not all women that marry for sex, after all, they can still adopt. I know the truth is bitter but better
ReplyDeleteY is everyone pretending,sex before marriage is a common thing,n besides almost everybody engage in it,@ least 99% of married couples OLALERE should HV opened up to d wife,since u guys r going to b married, u were not faithful with her,I pray she understands n stays with u after finding out d truth
ReplyDeleteAzzizat Akanji
Anonymous
ReplyDeletePre-marital sex is sin.The word of God says it clearly.Bros i think u should have opened up to ur wife so as not to be disappointed in you.Above all trust God completely He is able to do all things and He will restore u back to the original.
Bonded home as far as I am pre marital sex is a bad one so that couples can be wonderful prepared for challenges ahead of marriage!
ReplyDeleteBonded home as far as I am pre marital sex is a bad one so that couples can be wonderful prepared for challenges ahead of marriage!
ReplyDeleteThe guy should let his wife know his problems and as well seek medical help to be sure of his fertility status,the joy of every marriage are the kids that comes afterward.in as much as am not in support of pre-marital sex,I won't take away 'sampling'so that both parties would be sure whether they are productive or not,which will make the marriage stand the test of time Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile
ReplyDeleteThe fact still remain that both God and church condemns pre-marital sex, thus having said that, if the guy have discused with the via his situation, and the lady agrees to mary him, I personally. Do not see the need for sexual encounter, since the lady that accepted knows the implication. The guy shud nt even boda abt him self, buth rada the lady's
ReplyDeleteLere my mahn. You are very mean. very very mean man. Instead of all ds useless questions u are askn ppl. just turn the table around and imagine its ur womn that did this to u. if u can sincerely ansa dat quest... then we can talk.
ReplyDeleteMariam
I am in support of Mariam. I don't want to be in the woman's shoes. This is not really an issue of pre-marital sex but that of sincerity and honesty, even openness before wedlock. What kind of nonsense advice does Mr. Man want from me when he knows the truth. He knew he didn't need an ex to help call off the wedding, he had stonger convictions! Abeg! Margaret.
ReplyDelete