HOUSEWIFE OR CAREER WOMAN?
My dear reader, i believe your week was great and by Gods grace, this week promises greater things. Our previous discussion was off the hook as Becky has read up your comments and she is better informed now. Thank you all.
During
the week, one of those hot afternoons, i went into a restaurant i have not really tried
before, they said it was run by Calabar women...instead of just placing my order
and having my meal peacefully, the argument between some men proved too captivating. They were dressed like bankers, so i figured this might be an intelligent discuss so i took my time listening. One of them was of the opinion that a woman
should strictly stay at home, produce children and look after the family, the
other one insisted that a woman, whether educated or not should not only have
children and take care of them, but must also support the family
financially...the argument went on and they sought my view...trust me, i was blunt about my position and decided to share this with you.
The level of
commitment from couples to financial successes of homes have constantly been
reviewed to meet up with the expenditure of the home at every given point in
time. This in effect often falls on whatever the man and the woman and
sometimes the children can bring to the family purse. This position makes
everyone a fender. Dad, mum and kids. Does not sound bad at all. In a bid to
substantiate all avenues of making the family comfortable, we see women work
8am-5pm in full capacities as men. On the other side of the coin, we have also
seen women who sit-in all day and allow the man fend for the home alone, perhaps as expected. Working classed women have had challenges of being
available for their children, husband and sometimes themselves. Some, because
of their beauty, have been placed in strategic positions of the organisation that
exposes them to sexual harassment and undue fatigue from constant pressure. It is also known that housewives, although
always available, contribute little or nothing financially to sustain the home.
Some even engage in extramarital affairs, idle go
ssiping all day, get into quarrels during the day
with other housewives and may also be intellectually dwarfed as all they do is
sit-in and be idle.
Considering
these popular sayings "the idle hand/mind is the devils workshop" and
"no food for lazy man" and woman of course, would one rather get
busy, chart a career path and possibly fail in some home duties or sit-in, be
available for the family and depend absolutely on the man for every kobo?
To the men,
as the head of the house, which class of wife do you prefer and why
For singles,
state your preference
The floor is
open.
In dis jet age(21st century),it is advisable 4 a lady 2 wrk so as to assist d family,d man cannot do it all,cum to think of it...u can't just stay home after going to schl,but d truth of d mata a married woman shld knw ow to balance d HOME&her choicen CAREER
ReplyDeleteit is my exclusive responsibility to take care of my wife and children. i dont see any reason why my wife has to go out there and labor even harder than me. In this our lagos where the daily struggle is really emotionally and physically drainning...i will allow my wife to go and dabble around...when she is away,who takes care of the kids. Pls my wife is a full housewife.
ReplyDeleteJerry, Lagos
must also support the family financially...
ReplyDeletei disagree.
Racheal, Abia
Imagine when the man is no more who will take care of the children if the wife is a complete house wife? Food for thought. I think the issue calls for the wife to balance between the two
ReplyDeleteImagine when the man is no more who will take care of the children if the wife is a complete house wife? Food for thought. I think the issue calls for the wife to balance between the two
ReplyDeleteI am strongly,taking i stand on this issue.I dont personally believe in the house wife thing as the say Idleness is devil's workshop and same time do not support a woman should shield all her responsibilities of taking care of her family because she is working,my advice is that Entrepreneurship for women is the key.Decide your faith,have your employees,mange your time and decides who gets what,so that the family will get your maximum attention.
ReplyDeleteI believe women are special bred so as a result they have to support the family financially,emotionally and otherwise. No woman is expected to sit idle and allow the devil take over,educated or not. I know some men will say constant sexual harrassment at work and all,but the truth of the matter is that it takes the grace of God to be a good wife. I am strongly against house wife.
ReplyDeleteLets not also forget that women that work 8-5 and get home say 6 or 7 are never there for the family...especially their growing children...they depend on househelps or day care centres...who of course mal-handle the children...lets not start with all the child abuse stories we hear about day care centres....Jane, from home in Asaba
DeleteCo'mon! Not in dis era again. She should go get herself something doing. If she doesn't wanna be an emplyee, she can make use of her God given talent regardless of the amount she makes and her educational background. As 4 me, housewives shouldn't be existing by now.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a man and you support the idea that a man should keep his wife at home 24/7,
ReplyDeleteplease feel free to give your cogent well balanced reason, else, it will be considered a sexist notion that women are supposed to stay home and raise your kids be their for you when you need them for bed duties!
I ask women, what if circumstances change?
ReplyDeleteBecause, like it or not, there are women who would rather sit at home and be the housewife, suppose, for some reasons beyond your control, hubby takes a walk, transits, or is simply not there again, how do expect to cope?
My submission is, as a woman, even if you decide that you do not want an 8-4 career job, by all means do something for yourself or for the sake of your kids!
@Solidbrickz, I am aware that the holy book states that a man that cannot fend for his family is worse than an infidel...how degrading... So, since when has ot become the womans job to fend for the man? if you are man enough, why push youir woman to the streets? And who says staying at home is idle? try it for a week and see how it is? Lets face it, women who work dont give enough to the family...true or false
ReplyDeleteIn line with Umar, i am not stating that woman can only be useful in the house, afterall, women are equally educated these days... I ll like to say that rather than have my wife go out there and be subected to undue pressure, sexual harasment,emotional distress and have a worn out wife back home at night...mind you, she is not servicing my bed...-its our bed. So, really, if you have ur way, make her boss of herself...create a job for her...establish her. That way she ll have time to balance her work with catering for the family.
ReplyDeleteI am of the opinion that every woman's responsibilty to her family is first, this comes before working, career or whatever...this is for women that want family...in getting a job or working...she has to still put the family first..if the family begins to suffer at any point, its no longer worth it.
DeleteI dont see any modern day woman trying to sit her bum down at home all day...even illeterate women try to do some petty buying and selling. Wake up mum
ReplyDeleteElla,Awka
Working Class pls
ReplyDeleteSome selected professions
ReplyDeleteWhat would these professions be and why? Kindly explain..Thank you.
ReplyDeletePeople, i am considering resigning. a colleague just got a call that her child was seen somewhere in Ojuelegba.. that one woman carried the baby and is begging for money. She rushed there and lo and behold, it was true. The police are on the matter now. its the day care people o. They started confessing that between 11 and 2, they usually go out with the children and beg for money. posing with children like the real mothers. my friend is in a shock.
ReplyDeletelilian, VI, lagos
Lord Jesus, please can you be specific? which day care?
ReplyDeleteUju, lagos
Does it matter which one? bad eggs always abound among good ones. This is a rude shock. where we have reached in naija. and the parents will just innocently come back and pick their children, not knowing the child has been under hot sun all day. May God punish them
ReplyDeleteifybest, lagos
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLilians story, though "as reported" brings great pain to the mind, makes mockery of motherhood, betrays the trust and financial commitment made by the parent of the child or children that were involved in that dehumanising situation. i still cannot believe it. Makes one reflect on the safety of children in these day cares..this isnt a personal attack, but from our point of view here, one really has to weigh the options very tactfully before deligating such sensitive duties because of other commitments especialy work. There should be some other less risky ways of doing this.
ReplyDeleteRight from the onset, it was set out for a woman to be A HELP to the man. The help has to be in all ramifications (financially and otherwise), but it is improper for the woman to fully engage herself in office matters that she will have less or no time for the family. Lets look at this statistics: 70% : 30%. In terms of income, the man MUST bring 70% of the family's income while the woman owns the other 30%, whereas, in terms of taking care of the family, the woman owns 70% whereas the man takes the other 30%. I stand to be reviewed. I rest my case. @cmaobee. Aba.
ReplyDeleteTruth is that if a woman sits at home all day, she would be very available for the home unlike working classed women who would hardly be there for themselves let alone the family. Derin, Lagos
ReplyDeleteIt is not healthy, no matter how small the income is...-to have a healthy life, you should not be dormant at home. I have a neighbhour whose husband is more than capable, but the woman does a small home lesson work. Its just not okay to sit at home all day...you must just dod something to help ur health.
ReplyDeleteChiwendu, Abia
I don't think is good to be a complete house,cos when the man that is providing for the family is not able and capable to provide for the family again things will nt be ok with the family again.But if there is a helping wife around at list the fiancial problem would not be noticed or seen.
ReplyDeleteIf any woman sits at home 24!7 these days...she must be joking with the future...
ReplyDeletetrue life stories: my aunt is the most brilliant of her siblings, she a professor today. What wld have happen to the God's given talent.
ReplyDeleteA relative husband lost his job and he's still searching till date. What wld have happened to the homefront.
a family friend lost her husband, husband relatives took all they had, what wld have happened to the children.
last month, my husband cldn't provide for a particular need bcos of so much commitment and he related it to me, I told him not to worry that I'll foot that bill, he was so relieved and I received a hug in place of irritation if I had been a helpless helper.
Am on maternity leave and I realise it's frustrating to be home all day. I weight 73kg now from my previous 61kg. Had to be sniking to work once in a while.
@Yikky, these stories are great but they are one in a million. i am not sayingh that a woman should not be lless busy or over active, my point ios that women should first and foremost be there for the family espacially in their growing stages. see what soimeone said about her colleagues seen in town witht he supposed nanny begging oin the street. this wqould have been sorted if the mother wereat hpome.
ReplyDeleteBenson, Edo
I have a personal experience. My wife used to work in a bank,she goes out before seven and does not get home until 6.30pm .truth is, the money comes in at the end of the month,but deep down ,i never appreciated it. She returned daily very tired and all she has to say is work pressure and all. Our children suffered. i was always travelling abroad and their mom was never around. Every time we were looking for one house maid or the other to replace one who she judged not good enough... let me not begin that episode...judge for yourself.
ReplyDeleteBrownson, Lagos
No matter what is being said,Yikky has said it all. A woman should not just sit back and wait on the man.why did she go to school?, why did she get all the teachings to maintain her home, why did she acquire supportive skills?
ReplyDeletePat, Edo
I think men that want their wives to stay at home all day may have some other reasons they are not willing to state.. or too shy to state...tongue out....
ReplyDeleteJeniffer, Edo
I can't find myself becomin a career woman sorry...
ReplyDeleteYm...Ab
Well,it sounds to me as if the description Housewife is derogatory and the one working class is the cute one. Staying at home is not a lazy woman's work if you all must know. if you think its for he lazy women , try it for a week and tell me if its all a joke. mtsewwww... Evelyn, Abia
ReplyDeleteExcuse me?why will I have to work to support the home,didn't he know what he was gettin into befor he decided to get married? Its a NO to career woman for me
ReplyDeleteMex...umu
@mex I totally agree with you, as for me I see it as the man's incapablity to fend for his home,why den should he tink of getting married,,,I can't be a career woman o...@ alllll
ReplyDeleteSwiss Abia
Lazy bone chicken hearted Men,who would want to turn women to sex machines,baby factory,maid andd also money bags,they should as well use d woman for rituals...Lazy ass...mcheeewww.COMPLETE HOUSE WIFE joor...
ReplyDeleteSaphire...PH
Am sorry o....abeg my wife is an housewife to the core o....why would she work,then be at the mercy of a boss who would want to take advantage of her,then she comes home and all she does is to be in the office in her mindthinking of the job she left undone
ReplyDeleteCareer woman it is for me,she eats too let her work,if not she would not know the value of my job and how hard I work...
ReplyDeleteKingsley
Am so sorry but how would I be a wife do all d duties and even perform bedroom duties,tidy up the kids and jump oFf to work,no wonder the sweet young girl who gets married today with 5-10years age gap becomes older in looks over time...the the man would in turn say you are stale,then he makes move to cheating...God forbid I will just kill him,I better be an house wife and gist with my friends in the morning...
ReplyDeleteNengi buguma
Some of us seem to have missed out the real positions we occupy, how can a woman complain at her duties? if a woman makes love to her husband, has she done him a favor?
ReplyDeleteLere, IB
Its a career woman for me please,they are smartter,wiser and really confident,not a dull mind and an all day seat @ home woman who doesn't know what life is saying,then when you take such woman to the elites function she just can't measure up,then you aint even proud enough to introduce her as a wife hell NO,career woman all the way...
ReplyDeleteWilliams VGC
Iam going to start with the adage that says A mind that is not working is a devil workshop, A woman has to work, cause a man can not provide everything one needs!except the man is super rich! Iam a woman, iam working, I have my money, I spend it , I buy what I like! I use my money to enjoy my life, I have a particular slongan! ONE LIFE ! ENJOY IT. NO PART TWO!
ReplyDelete@Buguma.. why is it that women are very quick to accusing men? are you saying women dont cheat on their husbands too? I am aware of many bosses who sleep with their female/married secretaries...mind you , that is 50/50. as you blame the man for randiness,the woman receives hers for looseness. its even worse when they are married. Mind you, this temptation at office place is because the women have chosen to go to work instead of taking care of their kids and family.At least no man would be confident enough to put her under pressure for sex if she were in the house.
ReplyDeleteBrownson
Please is being a career woman necessarily mean being educated?
ReplyDeleteCareer can be any vocation or path one has choosen. For instance, a footballer does not have to be a professor to play the game.
ReplyDeleteWell, it may not necessarily connote education,it might mean more of civilization in deciding what business one wants handle.
ReplyDeleteThe place of every woman is beside her husband as a help meet for him...Each family should therefore determine how they want to manage their abilities. it has to be to the convenience of the family. This determines whether she works or stays at home.It would be an empty and hasty concussion to say that one of these is wrong.
ReplyDeleteEmeka, Abia
No matter the situation, a man should not allow his wife to remain indoor all day. its going to affect her psycology...itys not a good thing to offer a person. Aside the fact that she can join the family purse, the woman is a priceless gift that should be alowed to b;lossom to the fullest.
ReplyDeletelivy, Okene
A woman should be a helper to her husband. this help should be in every aspect of the man's life isnt it? looking at the womans capacity, she should be allowed to work if she can handle it.
ReplyDeleteSESIL
This is a really interesting debete,as for me,I'd rather choose a career woman to help support the home,there are times things don't just go down well with the mans financial state,at those times if you happen to be with an housewife,I tell you,you are in for deep shit...
ReplyDeletePersonally, i dont have interest in what my wife does with her money, i still provide all that she needs. as for her working .,..its the best. because if she sits at home, that is when she would available to welcome PHCN when they come to read meters, that is when she would see the woman that is not properly dressed...and before you know it, she would be exposed to all funny stuiff..... i ll prefer that she works and stay off the devils track.
ReplyDeleteAkachukwu from Enugu
if women are meant to stay indoors only, then they cannot be fully useful the society. what would happen to courses like home economics, guidance and counselling and other fields that are female dominated.
ReplyDeleteIfe,Osun
Well, to the question of when a woman is more available to the home? I say when she is a RESPONSIBLE full time housewife. But, to the question of when is a woman more useful to the home? I say when she is a career woman!
ReplyDeleteTruth is, what works for your particular situation may not fit into mine
Lets us be truthful to ourselves, a woman who works out there can never be fully available to the family. i know some people in this Lagos that wake up as early as 4 am and start the day.. they even wake their kids too and make it look like school preps, truth is, they are not doing it happily. they leave the house by 5 and get back 8pm.. tell me how this woman would be there for the family? they depend on house-girls who eventually become their husbands mistresses and houseboys who eventually start to service their daughters... i think a woman should do something flexible that can allow her be available for the family.. like a private business... ones family first abeg.. which kain hustle be that?
ReplyDeleteBadejo,Mrs,Egbeda.Lagos.
It can also depend on the age range of the kids involved. Older kids could manage, while mum builds a career, younger kids, needs mum and dad close by.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, who says that taking care of the children is 100% the mother's responsibility?
@dr jay, how do you mean 100% for women raking care of children? Do you want responsibility shared.?apart from providing fund,what else?
DeleteOne may not necesarily be a housewife but...i think it should be rotated. When the kids are small, u stay there for them, when they are older you can get a career. What of those women who take leave to get pregnant,take another leave to give birth...they ll need more leaves to raise their children...@Dr Jay, whether you accept it ot not...the wonah plays a greater role in child upbring.
ReplyDeleteMen who are rich and influential can afford to make their wives indoors only women...those of us trying to meet up cannot do that..Its hard admitting the truth, if i had my way, why not? she will stay at home and take care of us. undivided attention.
ReplyDeleteUmeh, lag
Agree or not,a woman is more available when she works for the family..at least at the growing stage of the children. When they have come of age, she can pick up a career.
ReplyDeleteJude,Awka
A woman in my neighbourhood recently lost her hubby. She wz n is a house-wife. Needless 2 say, things hv been rather hectic 4 her n her kids [all 5 of them]. She had 2 immediately set up a small kiosk 2 maintain a steady inflow of cash.
ReplyDeleteNow, I knw that d woman is responsible for bringing up d kids bt in dis age n tym n with d uncertainty clouding a person's position in an organzation, d wife needs 2 simply do something.
My mum, [God bless her for me], has successfully managed 2 balance her biz n also training her kids.
I remember a period of tym when my father wz away 4 official duties 4 almost half of d year. I bet u, if my mum wz a housewife with so source of income, all 5 of us, her kids, wuld hv been school drop-outs. Bt she maintained d home, held d fort till her husband, my father returned. I want 2 b like my mum n that is 2 successfully balance home, work n spiritual activities so my kids won't feel left out.