The evening was going great with the Chinese
restaurant thing, the jazz music on the background and of course the wonderful
meal…something within assured me that Derrick was going to propose tonight. We
have gone through all the normal snapping of selfies, feeding each other,
stolen pecks and even seating on his laps to steal a quick kiss and all
that…For once everywhere was calm and we kind-of focused for a while…My heart
was already melting away…all he needed to do was just ask me and my YES would
fill the air…
As I anticipated, he began. “Laura, these few
months have been my very best, I have seen love as I have never seen before,
in-fact, you make me feel like a butterfly with wheels in its heart. Everything
about you just makes me wanna… Laura, I brought you out here so I can ask for
your hand in marriage, I have a diamond ring here with me”…at this point I was
almost screaming YESSS... Then he continued, “ I have little restrictions,
there are some things I would like to know about you…I mean, we have spent time
together brothering and sistering… I just need to ask you some questions before
I proceed” I screamed “restrictions”? How? Why are you having any restrictions when
I am right here to answer all your questions or at least give you some
clarification” okay then, that’s good… I will just go ahead and ask you since
you won’t mind” he bragged
I never knew I had invited trouble…Derrick
started with the questions…
1.
Are
you a virgin?
2.
If
yes,…I just can’t believe it. But if no, who deflowered you and how did it
happen?
3.
How
many boyfriends have you had before meeting me?
4.
How
many of them, in short, how many guys have you slept with?
5.
Have
you ever had an abortion?
6.
Are
you still in touch with any of your ex-boyfriends…?
By the time he was about going for the 7th
question, I was already at the door, angry and almost cursing…to worsen
matters, my friends back home are of the opinion that I should have answered
his questions, after all they are just questions and they are already in the
past…they reminded me of how old I am now and that I may have just lost a
golden opportunity at getting married…
Please what was I suppose to do? Start
answering….shouldn’t my past be in the past?
Why do guys ask such questions…
Please share and educate Derrick and Laura
Why are ladies always afraid of their past? but sincerely, derrick shouldn't have asked all those questions in one night. As I observe, they hve bonded overtime, why wasn't he asking her all one after the other at different times during the bonding period? If I were the girl, I would also be upset! Truth be told!
ReplyDeleteuhmmm. from where i stand, d past really meant a lot to d guy. everyone has a past for God's sake n d past should be kept where it belongs! if Derick truely loved Laura, he wouldnt ask such questions.if they were really meant to be together,Derrick will surely come after Laura .if he doesnt, then Laura should put it all behind her like a bad dream! God will bring her husband her way who wudnt give her conditions before wanting to spend d rest of his life with her.
ReplyDeleteits well
I absolutely do not agree with, "if Derick truely loved Laura, he wouldnt ask such questions.. " he actually went overboard in his quest to know about her past all in one sitting
DeleteIts a very wrong thing for a guy to do...I'm not against questions but not all these in one seating....d guy Na dundy...
ReplyDeleteJustine
I just wonder why the lady should walk away in the first place, the young man want to be sure of the Goods he is purchasing, just that his methods were a little bit outodos .lols. I advice the lady to go back to her man and answer all her Jamb questions if at all she wanna marry the man. Although the man need a little re touch on how to approach those questions. I miss Bonded Home.
ReplyDelete200 likes!
DeleteGreat one Danny, very insightful one that we could all learn from, boys, men, girls, ladies, parents so as to advice kids right but most urgently the ladies. Whether we stand upside down, travel to any part of the world, or turn the compass in any possible direction, The true north will always point in the same direction, just like the TRUTH itself. If the lady in the story was HONESTLY all-for-the-guy till death as marriage requires, the question may shock her but she will quickly brace up and answer them. The main test was not in the answers to the questions, the main test was in how open is she to live an honest life of truth with the guy about to propose. A lot of women in their several marriages up till date can't even answer one or two of these questions honestly in front of their husbands but they'll go and preach how he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing... It takes that level of sincerity and 100% commitment for any woman to actually deliver the favour God promised in that verse to the husband. So my advice for the guys who are single, if you can pack it up as well as this guy until when you can't any other reason not to marry and then unleash these questions, let it serve as your final acid test, no matter how bad she feels, if she finds it in herself to honour with the honour you with the answers, she is in a good position to honour you for the rest of your days. Then ladies, try to remember that marriage is not wedding. Our ladies all just look forward to wedding. If they at least consider that they want a life of so many years with someone and know that the truth has a way of always popping up and the truth will always be the truth and no matter how filthy it may be, you earn a whole of respect for giving it up yourself in the long run and that it's better for the outside to be dirty and the inside clean than vice versa and that relationships can't stand in the absence of truth which consequently breeds trust,... I just can't over emphasise it but, my dear lady if you were my favourite sister, and I believe the guy is good for you, I will advice you go back and give him every last detail. That will be laying the right, most beautiful building blocks for the rest of your amazing and strong married life.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure abt ur gender. But if u r a lady, I love u for this 'hit the nail on the head- call a spade a spade - down-to-earth' comment!! Not many ladies think this way. They prefer living in a fake world, carried like a queen and adored like a god! God bless u! If u r a man, u r brilliant! One million likes!
DeleteI must really applaud this comment..
DeleteAnd for guys,,,if the girls run after theyve bombed her with all the questions, they should thank God its their lucky day cos they dont know what God let them walk away from..
ReplyDeleteOne million likes!!
DeleteOne billion likes!!!!
DeleteAs a man, you don't really need to dig deep into her past. Some sees ds as necessary but honestly, its not compulsory. If at all you want to ask these questions, that's not the right time. He should have asked before that moment. He ruined that moment for her and even for himself. Are they meeting for the 1st time ? No ... There is a way you ask women questions like these. Its a sensitive topic that should be discussed at the right time. If the timing is wrong you'll blow it. Men ends up getting hurt when they hear the stories so why exhume the gory past to blow the bright future? Start your life with her on a new page. She did the right thing by walking away. I bet the two of them have not been talking very well. They should have moments to discuss and jist. You need to get to know her well before you go to the next stage. I've missed bonded home ! Welcome back. @profscomedy
ReplyDelete@profscomedy: Everything you've said I agree with, if and only if marriage is not in the horizon. A test is a test, you either fail or pass. What is the meaning of the truth if one has to condition the weather, climate and surroundings to get it. The answer wasn't the most important thing, the ability to share the answer with your future "life partner" was. The environment does not adjust for the truth of marriage. The storm will certainly come, it's a solid foundation built on truth that stands. As far as marriage goes, take my word for it.
Delete...I am tempted to believe that the guy is a fool for asking such questions at that particular time. Questions like that are meant to be asked long before making up your mind to go deeper... not in the verge of proposing.
ReplyDeleteThat left me thinking what exactly they have been 'bothering and sistering' talking about all the while they were courting!! Humans by nature don't like being interrogated even when preping for a job. It's our nature.
DeleteNo need for that, some people may find what they can't resist.
ReplyDeletewhy is everyone sounding all churched-up with this issue? please and please the guy should check the engine before buying the car, who buys a car just for the body? to me, i feel that the answers to those questions we the main menu for the evening, she should have at least be simple about it and start answering form the one she could not answering and walking away makes one feel that she has some stuff in the past she is still hanging on to. at this point, if Derrick walks away too, has he done any wrong? should he go after her? sould he just hang on and expect her to come back to him?
ReplyDeleteDo people need some sort of training before they get into relaatiinahips? So that you don't going saying the wring things at the right time or right things at the wring time. Personally I don't think she should have walked away. She should have taken the answers one by one or possible change her mood so that the guy would see that he has overstepped. There is nothing new under the sun joor. That might just be some romantic test. Yes the past should be in the past, don't also forget you need a very good evaluation of the past to avoid falling into ditches repeatedly. Nice one at bondedhome. People need to see this...blogging with sense . kipitup.
ReplyDeleteIt is rather obvious and unfortunate that viginity (or letz just say chastity) is nolonger a pride like it use to be. Many of the virgin guys feel out of place like 'old fashion' while the virgin ladies feel tormented and intimidated. Truthfully, the lady walking away has given Derrick the answer he needs but Derrick should have in mind that love conquers all things. Derrick is lucky that the lady did not choose to deceive him because how will he know if what she says is true? If Derrick choose to leave her and find someone else, can he be certain that the new lady will have a cleaner past? (....now that chastity is nolonger a pride). Personally, i nolonger expect chastity.....not even in the church!!!!!! Relationships/Marriage is about acceptance. The lady on the other hand should not throw away the opportunity she has........the fishes in the sea may not be as much as she thinks.
ReplyDeleteJust reading it again and I really think the lady is so so so immature....i have a feeling she is in her very early or mid twenties. I also feel she needs to be mentored on how to manage her emotions. From this story, she is clearly not in a good position to manage a home! (i stand to be corrected). For whatever reason, you dont work out on your so called sweetheart in anger............... Is that how she will manage similar issues in marriage? Please send this girl to training school!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think Derrick actually wanted to propose, else, he would have done that straight away. Why will he wanna raise the dust? If she had a bad past, will he change her past? On the other hand, I'm of the opinion that the girl should've answered him. If he wanted to marry her, the past isn't an excuse
ReplyDeleteFor me, there relationship is lacking trust.. they have not accepted each other completly...
ReplyDeleteI can't take that even as a guy. To bad
ReplyDeleteI can't take that even as a guy. To bad
ReplyDeleteThe thirst for knowledge is realy nt a bad tin, but the guy was a bit foolish wit his approach, what if the lady was brave and courageous enuf to reply his questions, lying al the way and he never suspects anytin? There are certain tins you detect even without relying on gossips or asking jamb questions, lets be free, open and truthful especialy from the scratch before we get that far... God help us all.
ReplyDeleteDon't Mk up ur mind cos of some answers she might form there (cos dere are many desperate people)So... Even if u want to do that. Let the other party know. And don't do it in a setting like that and it should certainly Not be a criteria for proposing that night. You should have settled all that shii within itself before u choose to propose And its a great way to ruin a date. Ask them on different occasions. As u remember. Don't pile em up and ask in one setting. As if you're a judge. You be God? Haba... God sef is real gentle with us. I don't care who it is ehn??? No one should ask that many questions in one setting... Its just wrong and immature.
ReplyDelete