Monday, 14 April 2014

How long is long enough for dating?



Times have changed and the people occupying the world of course have really changed, mentalities, ideals, priorities and the way things are done have really taken some drastic new turns.
In those days, although I wasn't there, I was reliably informed by many who witnessed it that relationships were built on trust and indeed that proverbial blindness we often try to debunk these days  ‘’love is blind”.

How do you explain this? My mother told me, she wasn’t even dating my father before they got married. The guy shows up at the house, meets her uncle, points at her that he was interested, she looks at him, likes him too and in less than a jiffy, their first son was out, that’s me. It was really fast. Well, as I write, many years have gone down and my parents are still happily married and now aging together.

You may want to excite yourself, ask your parents or someone who might know how they met and precisely how long it took them to get married. You would be shocked how it appeared as if they jumped before looking…yet, their relationship stood the test of all times.

Today, it’s a different ball game. Let’s consider our modern day theories of dating before marriage vizaviz the success/failure rate juxtaposed with the old school, “short or no dating at all” style vizaviz the success rate of those relationships.                    
This opinion is not a “no” to dating, it’s a questioning of how and how long people should actually date?

I have a family friend, a lady who has been with her “bobo” for over four years now and whenever we ask how they are doing. She says “very soon”…and I am aware they have on one or two occasions…aborted…
I am sure you have an idea of this kind of situation.

Please how long is considered okay for dating?
Should people date for long?
Is it also advisable to discourage dating? I know your answer would be a big “no”, but please substantiate your stand.





pix from

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:54 pm

    Well as far as I'm concerned, dating is an avenue for you to know more about your partner. But you keep knowing her/him for the rest of your lifes. So dating is just like a short term period dedicated to knowing your spouse and marriage is the long term. I think our parents didn't see it as that. They jump the dating and go for the marriage once they are convinced it will work out! That's the place of love at first sight, straight to marriage. You keep knowing more about your spouse for the rest of your lifes until death do you apart. You can't understand your woman completely you only learn to cope with any new version of her and vice versa. So, dating shouldn't be a long term thing its a time waster because both parties can pretend for ever so why wasting your time? I'll rather date for short time and accept fate get married and face it its something that has to do with fate, something written in the stars !
    @profscomedy

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  2. Some pple don't date, yet succeed Like my admin's mother #wink. While some pple date yet succeed too. But sometimes, the reverse is the case. What is obvious is that "wot will will be will be" no mata wch road one takes to reach their marriage target and plan. Finally, dating or not, Fate always has the final say, either good or bad. Peace

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  3. Anonymous6:54 am

    Joy
    Are we talking of dating or courtship?for dating u can date as long as u want is a choice but for courtship it shouldn't be more than six months

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  4. Anonymous12:19 pm

    Is always gud to court for at least six months before going into marriage. Ds will enable d couples to knw each oda well.

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  5. Aboshi MaryAnn4:53 pm

    Date as long as you want to....but date clean.......period: you can never know someone too well before marriage so the longer the dating doesn't guarantee a successful marrige....#gbam#

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  6. Funmexy5:36 am

    courtship should be encouraged but at the same time shouldn't stay on for too long. people get tired of each other while dating coz there is no commitment yet that's when it stays on for too long! courtship is just to av an idea of the type of person u want to commit the rest of your life to.six months of courtship is good

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